I don't know what has happend to me, this deep hatred that has bred in me for so long still seems to be biding its time. I can never forgive mom and dad for what they did and I can let this all pass undefined, I will not be denied the love that I long for. I will never let my apathy get the better of me. I know my family can't understand me, After all I'm so far beyond their reach and control. They have blinded themselves to the truth and choose not to see the light. The death that has fallen before my eyes has forever torn me apart from the inside, nobody even can understand that pain yet they continue to think they can...No one ever will be able to even fathom my thoughts, what I love, what I care about. It is not theirs to know. It is not I who should be apologizing but them who should be begging for forgiveness.
My life is mine, I live to make those I care about happy, therefore nothing I do is in vain. That said if I'm not trying to make the people around me happy I don't care about them. Nothing is stupid or childish for there is no such thing, in all reality we never really "grow up" we just choose not remember that happiness, the joy we found at such simple things like digging in the sand and running in the waves. I never forgot these things and so my love of children has never changed because at heart I have always been a child.
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